Three Responsibilities

Bismillahir'Rahmanir'Rahim

Our Grandshaykh said that wives have three obligations to their husbands. Only these and nothing more, can a man place upon them:

The first obligation is that she must be under her husband’s will. She must be as his shadow, her likes and dislikes must be his likes and dislikes. When she acts contrary to her husband’s will, she is not a wife in the sight of the Awliya.

Her second obligation is to be the keeper of his property. She must not spend without his permission even if he has millions. If he gives permission, she may spend all of it. This is adab.

Thirdly, she must keep his honour when out of his presence. She must not sit with another man in her husband’s absence, even his brother. When a man and a woman sit together alone, Satan is always the third party. In ancient times when a man knocked at the door, a woman would answer with her thumb in her mouth so as not to sound lovely.

Abu Muhammad al-Madani (May Allah be pleased with Him) was the uncle of our Grandshaykh’s Shaykh, Sayyid Sharif ud’din Daghestani (May Allah be pleased with Him), and a Wali in his own right. No one dared question him or raise their face to him, such was his majesty. And yet, he said that he would have preferred to be a woman rather then a man! He said this because a woman has only these three responsibilities, and if she honours them, she would enter Paradise without questions. A man on the other hand, would be asked so many questions that he would wish that he were dirt, let alone woman! “I say this because I am a weak servant,” Said Abu Muhammad. “If the Husband is pleased with his wife, Allah is pleased.”

Nowadays, women are asking to be treated like men, wishing to bear the same heavy load. This is lack of wisdom. Women have the same chance as men for improvement in the Divine Presence, but they are created in a different way. Their inner lives are different. Men are hard and women are soft. “Men are the controllers of women,” Says Allah. The souls of men are the perfection of Allah, while the souls of women are the appearance of the beauty of Allah. “Jamal,” “Kamal,” “Jalal” beauty, perfection, and majesty…

taken from: Mercy Oceans - the teachings of Maulana Abdullah al-Faizi ad-Daghestani by Shaykh Nazim Haqqani