Three Responsibilities

Bismillahir'Rahmanir'Rahim

Our Grandshaykh said that wives have three obligations to their husbands. Only these and nothing more, can a man place upon them:

The first obligation is that she must be under her husband’s will. She must be as his shadow, her likes and dislikes must be his likes and dislikes. When she acts contrary to her husband’s will, she is not a wife in the sight of the Awliya.

Her second obligation is to be the keeper of his property. She must not spend without his permission even if he has millions. If he gives permission, she may spend all of it. This is adab.

Thirdly, she must keep his honour when out of his presence. She must not sit with another man in her husband’s absence, even his brother. When a man and a woman sit together alone, Satan is always the third party. In ancient times when a man knocked at the door, a woman would answer with her thumb in her mouth so as not to sound lovely.

Abu Muhammad al-Madani (May Allah be pleased with Him) was the uncle of our Grandshaykh’s Shaykh, Sayyid Sharif ud’din Daghestani (May Allah be pleased with Him), and a Wali in his own right. No one dared question him or raise their face to him, such was his majesty. And yet, he said that he would have preferred to be a woman rather then a man! He said this because a woman has only these three responsibilities, and if she honours them, she would enter Paradise without questions. A man on the other hand, would be asked so many questions that he would wish that he were dirt, let alone woman! “I say this because I am a weak servant,” Said Abu Muhammad. “If the Husband is pleased with his wife, Allah is pleased.”

Nowadays, women are asking to be treated like men, wishing to bear the same heavy load. This is lack of wisdom. Women have the same chance as men for improvement in the Divine Presence, but they are created in a different way. Their inner lives are different. Men are hard and women are soft. “Men are the controllers of women,” Says Allah. The souls of men are the perfection of Allah, while the souls of women are the appearance of the beauty of Allah. “Jamal,” “Kamal,” “Jalal” beauty, perfection, and majesty…

taken from: Mercy Oceans - the teachings of Maulana Abdullah al-Faizi ad-Daghestani by Shaykh Nazim Haqqani

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Ali's (ra) Forbearance

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‘Ali (r.a), the “Lion of God,” was once engaged in conflict with a Magian chief, and in the midst of the struggle the Magian spat in his face. ‘Ali (r.a), instead of taking vengeance on him, at once dropped his sword, to the Magian’s great astonishment. On his inquiring the reason such forbearance, ‘Ali (r.a) informed him that the “Lion of God” did not destroy life for the satisfaction of his own vengeance, but simply to carry out God’s will, and whenever he saw just cause, he held his hand even in the midst of the strife, and spared the foe. The Prophet, ‘Ali (r.a) continued, had long since he informed him that he will die by the hands of his own stirrup-bearer (Ibn Maljun), and the stirrup-bearer had frequently implored ‘Ali (r.a) to kill him, and thous save him from the commission of that great crime; but ‘Ali (r.a) said he always refused to do so, as to him death was as sweet as life, and he felt no anger against his destined assassin, who was only the instrument of God’s eternal purpose. The Magian chief, on hearing ‘Ali’s (r.a) discourse, was so much affected that he embraced Islam, together with all his family, to the number of fifty souls.

taken from: Masnavi-i-Ma'navi by Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi

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My Journey So Far

Bismillahir'Rahmanir'Rahim

It was a cold windy morning when I was told that the only person that I was close to had just passed away 3 hours earlier. My beloved mother.

I was born in Sydney, Australia to Lebanese parents. They filed for divorce when I was born so I didn’t know my father much as I was brought up by my late mother. We didn’t see much of her as she was busy working a few jobs to look after her 4 children, me being the youngest of them.

Islam was only a basic teaching within my family. When I lost my whole world (my mother) it woke me up to reality and made me realise that life was too short to waste so I begun soul searching towards the religion that I was born into but didn’t really know much about. Initially I was introduced to the teachings of Islam through my newly-married Pakistani brother-in-law. He began to influence my sister and I with the teachings of the Tabligh Jamaat. I took much interest to it, however, as time passed, I began to feel that there was something missing and that I wasn’t fully satisfied. I kept praying to Allah to show me the right way to Him. I yearned to be with someone who could guide me to Allah and His beloved Prophet (saws). Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered and I got married to my destined partner. Although reaching marriage was a big test, it was so worthwhile and a great blessing.

I was amazed that my husband, a revert from Sikhism was into Sufism, the spiritual side of Islam. I had always been curious about Sufism despite being rather devoted to Tabligh. However, most of my Tabligh mentors kept pressuring me to marry a devoted Tablighi, so I began to appeal to my husband-to-be to take up Tabligh activities. He didn’t want to be inclined to it, so I gave up trying to persuade him to get involved in Tabligh. Back then, I was brainwashed with the mentality that anything apart from Tabligh was false and would end up being denied the true blessings of Islam.

At the beginning stages of my discovery of Sufism, I had many questions for my husband. He responded calmly urging me to take my discovery slowly. I was quite puzzled at why he always kept a picture of his shaykh and why there was much focus on him. His explanation seemed rather convincing to which he said it was out of respect that he carried his shaykh’s presence with him in the form of whatever could make him remember him and his teachings. It got to a stage where I was really impatient to discover what it was that my husband was so passionate about in his devotions that I began to do a search the internet on the practices and concepts of Sufism, particularly the Naqshbandi tariqah which my husband was adhering to.

I began to listen to some of Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani’s (who is the son-in-law of the leading Shaykh of the Naqshbandi tariqah, Mawlana Shaykh Nazim Haqqani) suhbas (spiritual discourses) and gradually I accepted the tariqah. I began to have the yearning to be initiated into it but it seemed that there was no way I could reach anyone who had a connection with the Shaykh as we were isolated in Australia without much finances to travel to his place of residence in Cyprus.

Subhanallah, it seems that when intention is in place and patience is kept, Allah fulfils your wants. My husband received a surprising e-mail from a brother from Melbourne (about 800k from where we live) who was a Wakil (representative) of Mawlana Shaykh Nazim and had permission to accept bai’at (initiation) into the tariqah. We travelled to Melbourne just to meet him, however, the initiation did not take place as there were some complications. A month later, the wakil came to Sydney to visit and I had the chance to finally be initiated into the Naqshbandi Sufi Path being connected to Mawlana Shaykh Nazim Haqqani.

I look back now at what I’ve been through and think to myself that it is indeed Allah’s guidance and blessings that has rained upon me and given me this great connection to my spiritual guide Mawlana Shaykh Nazim Haqqani.

May Allah Ta’ala bless Mawlana Shaykh Nazim and accept us all in the Divine Presence. Ameeeeeeeeeeen!

wassalam
Aaisha

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